Change

I am learning, even in my 47th year. Gasp! [Insert sarcasm...] Yes, it is a relief to know that I can still learn something... that I am not all-knowing and perfect. You can relate to this, don't pretend.

Change is inevitable, direct or indirect, whether it be with places or things, with ourselves or with people in our lives, it is certain as they say. Illness, job change, death, friendships, family, relocation, seasons, etcetera, etcetera. It is not always fun and joyous. Clearly there are trying and fearful times to endure. The journey is certain to take us into unfamiliar territory and often times major changes take us through a range of exhausting emotional highs and lows. Self-doubt, fault, resentment, anger, sadness, tragedy, questioning, hopelessness, sense of betrayal, terror, our own accountability factor, it goes on and on. 

So with that journey, how do we adapt and can we acquire confidence, assurance, forgiveness, peace? We each have our own means. Maybe faith, meditation, hopefully special people-pillars to lean on. It takes some of us longer than others to adjust and find that spot of peace and freedom. Especially me. 

The changes in our lives have a place and we should truly recognize that because - HELLO - it means we are human! We must not wallow too long. Only look back long enough to cross-check your behavior with the tools you had at the time. You can't sail a boat without water. But you say, what about all of those emotional highs of self analytical tormenting about right or wrong, confident or doubtful, selfish or selfless? Do the answers to those questions make the situations any different, any better, any worse, any less whatever?  Probably not. This sums up my peace and my freedom....

"The need for change bulldozed a road down the center of my mind." ~Maya Angelou

Translation: Clear the road people because I am not sittin' still! (Oh roll your eyes if you want). That is the beauty of it. What we make of it is our own complete doing... our own bravery. We just have to make a conscious effort. Sure, we have our own truths and many times the event or the person (include self) can be wrong, troubled, unprepared, off on timing, lacking answers, or just plain bad. How we respond to the event is never easy. A decision to let go can be the same as a decision to put up a wall. 

What I am learning is that many times there is no right answer and no right outcome and that has to be okay too because in the end, it boils down to what you are left with emotionally.  What I am learning is to be brave with my lemons... 

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude." ~Maya Angelou

Choose to seek the silver lining.... look hard enough and you will find it more times than not.